A
senior citizen who went to Vancouver General Hospital for diagnosis and
treatment after experiencing sudden pain was offered euthanasia by
a doctor – before the woman had even been asked what was wrong with her. Must
of gone something like this:
Any Hospital
Anywhere In Canada
Anytime
Patient: “Thank you for
meeting with me. And I only had to wait two hours after the appointment was
scheduled to start. Appreciate it.”
Dr.: “Would you like medical
assistance in dying today?”
Patient: “What?! No! Aren’t
you even going to ask me what is wrong with me?”
Dr.: “Well, I am now
(rolls eyes). So, what’s the prob?”
Patient: “I’m experiencing
significant lower back pain.”
Dr.: “So you want to be
medically terminated then.”
Patient: “What?!! No!! I
already told you that. I’d like to find out what’s wrong and make it better.”
Dr.: “So you want me to
diagnose it and recommend a treatment plan?”
Patient: “Yes!”
Dr.: “Bummer.”
Patient: “WHAT?!”
Dr.: “Well, MAID is cheaper
for society as a whole, but there’s good money in it for me, so it’s a win-win.
A twofer.”
Patient: “But what about
me?”
Dr.: “That would be moot
because you’d be dead.”
Patient: “But I don’t want
to die. I was feeling fine until recently.”
Dr.: “You wouldn’t be in any
pain anymore!”
Patient: “Well, I wasn’t in
much pain before. Would you also offer me MAID if I’d sprained my ankle or
developed a canker sore?”
Dr.: “Yes.”
Patient: “That’s crazy. And
depressing.”
Dr.: “We can now offer MAID
for mental illness and/or depression, you know.”
Patient: “AAGHH! Forget
this. I’m going to see a doctor in the states.”
Dr.: “So you’re a
Trump-loving fascist, then? Thought so. We need to get rid of your kind.”
More
recently still, during a Special Joint Committee meeting related to Canada’s
euthanasia laws, a psychiatrist told Canuck MPs that those with eating
disorders or depression should be allowed to die by assisted
suicide. Allowed?
Got
a touch of bulimia? Bummed out over your team’s recent loss? Lost your job? Suffering
the “heartbreak
of psoriasis?” Stub your toe? Not to worry, Canada’s
national medical establishment is here to see to your demise. Comforting, eh?
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