Disgraced
former FBI Director James Comey recently trashed President Trump in a
5-minute rant posted to his Substack account. In it, Comey
bizarrely stated that pop singer Taylor Swift helps him deal with the mean old
Orange Man. A few excerpts from the lengthy and unhinged diatribe:
“Taylor Swift has grown
up with my family and provided us a soundtrack, really, as we’ve grown
ourselves and learned and adapted and dealt with adversity and celebration. She
had songs for all of it.”
“I don’t want us to become
like Trump and his followers. There are far more decent, honest, kind people in
America than there are mean jerks.”
“There’s a stunning
coarseness and ugliness in the Republican Party today. It’s upsetting, but it’s
also a minority of America. On the whole, we aren’t like that, and we don’t
like that.”
“And last year, she urged
Americans not to make the serious mistake of electing him. Of course, we’re now
living with the consequences of that mistake.”
“At my second Taylor Swift
concert in Hartford, Connecticut, 14 years ago this summer, she sang a song
about this topic, asking: Why you gotta be so mean?”
Comey
is not a deep thinker. Based on this immature harangue, he seems more like an
ill-informed and star-struck teenager than a former head of the FBI. One who
has it in for a more accomplished peer.
The
Comey-led FBI let several known radicals and thugs go, including the Boston
Bomber. It spied on innocent Americans and allowed Hillary
Clinton and her aides to destroy their laptops even as it granted them immunity
despite her egregious handling of classified material. Comey has long been a
crazed never-Trumper.
And
Comey posted a picture on Instagram of “86 47” written in shells on a beach, an
obvious wish for President Trump to be assassinated, accompanied by the words,
“Cool shell formation on my beach walk.” There is a far greater chance that a
monkey with a typewriter could, given enough time, accidentally produce
“Hamlet,” or “War and Peace” in their entirety than that a bunch of seashells
should wash up on shore and create a perfectly formed “86 47” message,
consistently gapped with a space between 86 and 47. (86 means eliminate or
kill, Trump 2.0 is the 47th president. There is no other possible
meaning.)
Comey
is a mentally ill monster who should be in counseling, treatment, or jail
—likely all of the above.
The
following is my rant against Comey, utilizing numerous Taylor Swift song
titles. See how many you can name!
Here’s hoping it’s a Cruel
Summer for Comey. As the allegations against him mount, he should not be
allowed to just Shake it Off. His rant is So High School, his Love Story with
Swift was never going to come to fruition in his Wildest Dreams. Comey is an
Anti-Hero and Karma is a bitch.
Comey, I Knew You Were Trouble
when you exhibited Bad Blood towards President Trump. I knew it All Too Well.
But it’s August, and You Need to Calm Down. Your legal troubles may be a
Delicate matter that could go Down Bad, but that has nothing to do with ME! I
know you were Enchanted with Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, but Don’t Blame Me.
Blame that Blank Space where your Brain and soul should be.
(18 Swift song titles were
embedded in the previous two paragraphs for those of you keeping score.)
Perhaps
Comey is just shell-shocked.
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