Sologamy?

 

By now, I assume most of you have heard about “sologamy,” the practice of marrying one’s self. Kind of the opposite of “polygamy,” but not really any more traditional or inspiring.

This, from womensbusinessdaily.com:

“In a 2019 Vogue interview, Emma Watson described herself as ‘self-partnered.’ She used the term to describe how she wasn’t pursuing a partnership but was instead focusing on ‘dating’ herself. The term ‘sologamy’ really isn’t much different. As opposed to monogamy, or even polyamory, someone prescribing to sologamy is first and foremost dedicated to loving themselves. This idea isn’t meant to promote selfishness and narcissism. Instead, it promotes self-love, focusing on improving and adoring yourself.” Alrighty then. Perhaps it is a tad narcissistic, but whatever, right?

And more from womensbusinessdaily.com:

“Kshama Bindu married herself in India’s first sologamous wedding. She performed many traditional Hindu wedding rituals but only invited 10 close friends and family members. She isn’t the first person to have a sologamous wedding. In 1993, a dental hygienist named Linda Baker in LA declared she was tired of ‘waiting for the chain of events that lead up to feasting on [a] wedding cake.’ So she invited seventy-five friends to watch her marry herself, becoming ‘her own lovely wedded person.’”

Sologamy, you say? I have one question: what if you asked yourself to marry yourself and you turned yourself down? That would be heartbreaking! Would you have recourse against yourself?

Would it be possible to leave yourself at the altar? That would be a bummer.

But why not marry yourself? I mean, everyone else is flawed, right?

These Brave New Times are so liberating and intoxicating for open-minded progressives like us!

I can’t wait until I can renew my vows with myself! So meaningful and special!

Kids? Don’t harsh my mellow, dude! The last thing this world needs is more kids—even if they should somehow happen to turn out as great as me.