The U.S. Needs To Be Domed...Or It Might Be Doomed

 

You may have heard about President Trump's proposed “Golden Dome” missile defense shield. But I have come to realize recently that that is not enough. We need to build a solid dome across the entire United States, perhaps made of thick plexiglass and securely fastened at the coasts and borders. This has become necessary because other countries keep sending us their smoke, volcanic ash, desert dust, invasive species, criminals, and now agroterrorists. It is no longer enough that we close our borders, we must seal ourselves off completely for our own good.

Chinese murder hornets, fire ants, round gobies, zebra mussels, Asian needle ants, purple loosestrife, Asian carp, highly toxic smoke, Saharan dust, volcanic particulates (Etna just erupted again), rapists, anti-Semites… and now Chinese agroterrorists accost us! I, for one, am tired of all of it! Not so long ago the weather reports did not include whether it was safe to go outside or not on any given day based on levels of toxic smoke. In recent years, at least where I live, they have included just that, in lieu of the permeating smoke from the numerous, rampant, and virtually endless Canadian forest fires.

This has had the effect of making me come to the realization that xenophobia may be a good thing. I say, tariff the hell out of everybody else, make everything here, and seal off our borders… land sea and air. MAGA!

Also in recent years, we have been urged not to go outside if it's too cold. Or too hot. And just this week, for the first time, I saw an internet headline stating that residents of 16 southern states were being urged not to go outdoors because of the sun. Apparently, the powers that be don’t want us to step outside unless everything is just right.

The smoke and the ash and the dust are one thing—okay, actually three things—but how come every invasive species easily outcompetes and outbattles our native species? And how come so many come from Asia, specifically China? There are the murder hornets, the Asian needle ants, the Asian carp...the agroterrorists. Etc., etc., etc. The real problem may be that we, ourselves, have morphed into the wimpiest of weak-tit species.

Maybe it's time we man up and properly defend ourselves and…our homeland.