Friday, October 1, 2021

Don Your Mask And Bow Down


Don your masks again everybody! Simon Fauci says! President Biden, too! The Delta Variant, you know! And the Lamda Variant is behind that. Might devastate society! And the Mu Variant…well, the Mu Variant might end up killing us all and rendering the universe forever barren! And surely there is a Nano Variant behind that and an Ober Variant behind that and…

Now get ahold of yourselves. Take a deep breath. Think about it. Take your masks back off. Let a sardonic smile grace your face…so all of us can see. Reassuring. Beautiful.

Think about the history of this country, the United States. Not the fake history. Not the rewritten accounts. Not the preposterous “1619 Project.” Not the agenda-driven bullshit. The real, actual history.

And try to picture General George Washington crossing the Delaware with a light-blue cloth mask covering his nose and mouth, his breath escaping from it though the Hessians on the other side of the river will not escape from the brave men he leads.

Imagine Andrew Jackson leading his troops in the Battle of New Orleans, his face—and orders—obstructed and muffled by that requisite bit of personal safety equipment, the facial mask.

Picture Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address with his mouth obscured, his voice muted by a facial mask worn of the fear of dying…though he is there to give tribute to all those who gave their “last full measure of devotion.”

Now conjure the image of FDR, in his wheelchair, addressing the nation after the devastating and “dastardly” Japanese sneak attack on Pearl harbor. See the properly fitted mask covering his breathing apparatus?

Or flash back eight years prior, when he tried to calm an unsettled nation by averring—through an FDA-approved N-95 facial mask of course-- “Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

After which he failed to add, “Now, for God’s sake, don your facial masks immediately or we’re all going to die! Die, do you understand me? Aggghhhh! If you don’t mask up, you’re worse than those who may someday soon attack us without warning!”

There was a time when men were men and women were far less mentally delicate, as well. When we understood that life was meant to be a challenge and some things were more important than our own personal existence.

If there wasn’t, America would not have been discovered. And the United States would certainly not have gained independence. Forget the Lewis & Clark Expedition. Or the moon landings. New frontiers? Nah.

Speaking of frontiers, picture Wild Bill Hickok, Calamity Jane, Annie Oakley, Davey Crockett, Buffalo Bill, Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, and other Western icons meekly acquiescing to “mask mandates” and “social distancing requirements.” Maybe not.

Or even their relatively recent Hollywood counterparts like John Wayne, Robert Mitchum and Clint Eastwood. Maybe not. 

Compare them with today’s “legends” like Alec Baldwin, Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Rob Reiner, and Barbra Streisand. Maybe not.

So let’s all mask up and bow down. And cover our faces. In shame.






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