A herd of rampaging wild boars assaulted an Islamic State position near Kirkuk Sunday, killing three and injuring another five, a local sheikh told the Times of London. The terrorists had been hiding in a field of reeds, preparing to attack a group of local tribesman who had formed an anti-ISIS militia, when the pissed-off porkers set upon them.
At least one report says that the extremists had been trying to remove the beasts, known for their ferocity, sending them into a frenzied rage.
Sadly, all reports indicate that ISIS eventually “took revenge” on the freedom-fighting hogs.
That has to be the worst nightmare an Islamic terrorist can have, many thousands of pounds of outraged pork stampeding towards him!
The U.S. should enlist these brave warrior-piggies in its armed forces. There should be a warthog wing, boar brigade, and a hog squad. “Private Porky reporting for duty, Sergeant Swine, Sir!”
“This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy went…’wee, wee, wee!’ and kicked the shit out of ISIS all the way to Homs!”