North Korea, Cuba Have Obesity Under Control

            Aspiring English politician and two-time Olympic rowing medalist James Cracknell was recently being interviewed by Sky News when he brought up the subject of obesity. Cracknell cited North Korea and Cuba as examples of countries that had obesity under control.

Well, famine and death are famously effective weight-control methods. This is like citing World War II era Germany and Russia as exemplars in the prevention of overpopulation. (Malthus would’ve been a big fan of Hitler and Stalin).

Crackpot Cracknell then stated: “See, they are quite controlling on behavioral change—you have to get people to buy into it.” It’s easy to get people to “buy into it” when you deprive them of virtually all forms of nourishment. Similarly, behavior-modification is likely to be quite successful in a totalitarian state like the Hermit Kingdom where passing gas within a three-mile radius of the Dear Leader will get you executed by salvos from anti-aircraft guns.

Rumor has it that Mr. Cracknell plans to run for Parliament in 2020 as a member of the Conservative Party. I thought conservatives wanted government to exert less control, not put its vast nose into every aspect of our lives like a Michelle-Obama-led Stasi.