"Romeo & Mohammed?"

 

Who says the theatre is dead? It’s thriving in England-- as “Romeo & Mohammed,” a modern, queer reimagining of Shakespeare’s stuffy olde “Romeo and Juliet”— doth surely prove. The play, now titled “Romeo and Hamed” because the play’s creators apparently want to live to see the second night’s performance, is set in London and follows two men, as you’ve probably already surmised.

Riverside Studio’s website declares of the “artistic” endeavor, scheduled to run from Sept 2 thru Sept. 6:

“Tonight, a story, a myth, a testament

That tells of love, sorrow and loves descent

A tale that tells of two lovers hearts

Written in stars, ancient heavenly charts.”

 

And then it adds this:

“Romeo moves through a world that never softens. Croydon’s concrete glare presses in from every side, until Hamed cuts through it. Their connection is immediate and dangerously alive, burning through expectation, faith, and the weight of family loyalty. Yet tragedy, as always, feels inescapable for our young lovers. This is a story of pain and pleasure, desire and violence, love as something that leaves a mark.”

“A world that never softens?” Hmm. “This is a story of pain and pleasure,” and “love as something that leaves a mark?” I’m guessing at least one of them is more than okay with that.

Turning transitioning Juliet, a ravishing young female, into a gay Muslim man is so dope, so cutting edge, right? Why not reimagine all of Shakespeare’s plays? What if, for example, Hamlet was reimagined as a modern story about a new king of Denmark, call them Kyle VIII, who is a non-binary, Two-Spirited, bi-polar, bisexual Muslim who gallantly comes to the defense of Greenland, Denmark’s much larger protectorate, against the bloodthirsty American president, the blatantly cis-normative Ronald Stump?

What if Othello, Desdemona, and Iago weren’t at odds, but were instead a welcoming, seen, and thriving throuple? Wouldn’t that be a positive and uplifting lesson for us all? What if Julius Caesar was rebranded as Julia Caesar, a lesbian Lutheran leader like no other? A person who believed in open borders and demilitarization? And could Macbeth not be improved by making them a non-binary leader of today’s WNBA, with the three witches recast as the three (bad!) bitches, all on the same WNBA team, and all committed to fighting whiteness and heteronormativity? They could be played by Celeste (“Buster”) Keaton, currently co-owner of the Seattle Storm. Old crap is so, like, prejudiced and dumb, right?

A great many marginalized people today have better ideas than Shakespeare ever did! There is still much work to do. More plays, movies, documentaries, classic books, children’s stories, action figures, and popular kid’s dolls-- such as Barbie & Ken—are yet to be re-imagined and improved, even in 2026.