My Most Important Post Ever

 

I have something very important to say about the future of humanity today folks, and you won’t even believe it. But first I must do the right thing and acknowledge certain realities, even if uncomfortable.

I acknowledge that I am currently sitting on land stolen from the Ojibwe and Dakota Indians—er, I mean Native Americans. It is unconscionable that I do this, yet here I am.

I also acknowledge that it is theoretically possible that I might somehow be benefitting from the labor of those who were enslaved by evil white racists (Democrats) in the America of yesteryear…even if their descendants are obviously benefitting from the countless inventions and incessant toil of my ancestors over the many years since, some of whom died trying to save the union and put an end to slavery in this country.

I further acknowledge that I owe a great debt to all the flora and fauna that came before me, some of which likely once inhabited the very plot of land on which I currently sit. (Does it not then stand to reason that I owe a debt of gratitude to those who built my little home…and who leant me the money to be able to do so?)

I would be tragically remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the debt owed by myself and many others to the people who grow, raise, and prepare my food, though I directly pay for everything I consume…and much of what others consume, too, through my taxes.

I acknowledge that every undocumented immigrant enriches us with their very presence, even if our tax dollars pay for them to have sanctuary cities, free health care—and in some cases to be given free cell phones and be put up in lovely hotels. Logically, I must then similarly acknowledge that every invasive species enhances our “diversity” and makes our lives fuller and more complete…even if they do occasionally wipe out native species. This leads me to another obvious conclusion: even though Europeans migrating to North America boldly stole the land from the relatively few indigenous and largely nomadic peoples on the continent at the time, the teeming throngs illegally entering our much fuller and more settled nation in recent years have every right to be here…and are probably more American than any citizen or Daughter of the American Revolution. Or even than Native Americans/Indigenous Peoples.  

I must, of course, also acknowledge that the LGBTQ Community has blessed our nation with warmth, love, and inspiring sexual and gender-based diversity and creativity…as well as a diversity of morality, ethics, and truth.

In the same vein, I willingly acknowledge that the Coronavirus came from an exceptionally well kept Chinese wet market—or Pangolin-- and not from any virus-researching lab in Wuhan. And that the lockdowns were necessary, that all other precautions were mandated solely due to the deepest concern for our health and well-being, with absolutely no regard for any other consideration, and certainly not for financial gain. And that Dr. Anthony Fauci is, in fact, Science.

Moreover, I, of course, fully admit that the Russian-Collusion Hoax assertions were absolutely true and untainted by any political bias whatsoever.

I also acknowledge that I am privileged beyond measure, solely because of the color of my skin, and that that would be the case even were I poverty-stricken, homeless, terminally ill, and a part-time servant to a Black household.

Additionally, I hereby acknowledge that the 2020 presidential election, decided primarily by mail-in balloting, was the most secure and inerringly perfect election in American history, and also that Trump has been trying to steal elections ever since.

And now to my most important post ever, one so shocking that it may change your life and mine.

Oops, sorry, I see that I have run out of time and space. I must acknowledge that, too.

Until next time.