Monday, July 6, 2020

Conservatives Call For Yale To Be Renamed

              Turns out Yale University, that bastion of Ivy League progressivism, was named after Elihu Yale, a British merchant and slave trader who made several donations to the college in the early 1700s when it was known as the Collegiate School. Elihu had also been President of the East India Company settlement of Fort St. George, at Madras, and was also involved in the diamond trade. By 1745, the entire institution had been renamed Yale University in his honor.  

              In the midst of the cancel culture movement, with statues of erstwhile slave owners being torn down and buildings, streets and products being renamed at a dizzying pace to appease the ever growing mob of wokesters, thugs and anarchists, many conservatives, myself included, are calling on the venerable old repository of higher education to change its name. To this end, I recently spoke with several of the school’s officials about this demand. They would only agree to speak to me on the condition of anonymity, but, of course, that is their right and the journalist’s sacred prerogative.

              The first Yale-fellow-well-met I spoke with flatly denied that the school was named after Elihu Yale in the first place. He said that “Yale” was actually an acronym for “Young Americans’ Learning Environment,” and claimed neither he nor anyone he ever met knew of the existence of an “Elihu Yale.” The second person I spoke with also denied any knowledge of “the Yale fellow.” Oddly enough, she too said that “Yale” was an acronym, but claimed it stood for “Youthful Academics Loving Education.” The third and last official agreeing to talk to me said that Elihu Yale never existed and was, in fact, “created out of whole cloth by the vast right-wing conspiracy and white supremacists. He is fake news.” He added that “Yale” actually was shorthand for “Youth Association (for) Living Exceptionally.”

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