Man Gives Birth To His Own Baby?

                 Breathless online reports recently touted the “first transgender couple to have their own child,” and used phrases such as “Man gives birth to his own baby.”         

                Creepy? Remarkable? A miracle? You be the judge.

                 Fernando Machado used to be a woman. Diane Rodriguez used to be a man. They met on social media a couple of years ago. They continued sharing pictures on Facebook. They started to date. Eventually they decided they wanted a child. Soon “Mr.” Machado was expecting.

                This was possible because neither of them had undergone “corrective” surgery. Ironic, no? The couple naturally posted a photo of their new son on Facebook, with the message: “Our son is not only a blessing, but he also promotes love.” Call me a skeptic, but I don’t think he is capable of “promoting” anything at this time. I’m sure he just wants “daddy” to breastfeed him.

                “Ms.” Rodriguez, who came into this world a male named Luis, stated: “We don’t have a name yet, or rather we do, we are just waiting to announce it.”

                “She” continued: “Being a mother was never something I thought I would do because I am a transsexual. The law before demanded that to be recognized as a woman you had to be castrated.” I’m sure that most men doubt that they will become mothers. Fortunately, that inane old archaic law that required a person to be female before being recognized as a woman has been repealed by the Obama administration. “Ms.” Rodriguez had the balls to take advantage of that fact while simultaneously siring a son. Might want to name him “Pat,” folks. Just in case.

                The couple claim that they “are the same as other families.” Right on! Whose dad doesn’t have a vagina, whose mom doesn’t sport a penis?!

                “Ms.” Rodriguez elaborated: “We live as man and woman. I’m a transfeminine woman and Fernando is a transmasculine man.”

                “Mr.” Machado said that when he discovered he was pregnant, he “started crying with happiness, fear and dread.” You know what they say: “you can take the woman out of your identity, but you can’t take the woman out of your physiological response.” Or something. He added: “I had never felt like that before. Wow, at last, I am completely happy.”

                Translation: a man and a woman had sex- and consequently had a baby.

                The twist is that the woman who birthed the child calls herself a man, and the man who fathered the child calls himself a woman. What progressive thinking and behavior this exhibits! How superior to the stodgy, old, traditional ideas about gender roles! I bow down before their remarkable inclusivity! I tremble when I contemplate their non-conformity!

                As a white, cis-normative male with a penis, I realize I am now outside of the mainstream. I can only beg for forgiveness.

                Or claim to be a woman.