Franklin & Marshall College in Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, is looking for a new mascot. Apparently, the old mascots, founding
father Benjamin Franklin and U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Marshall are
no longer considered suitable. Ergo, the private school initiated a Mascot
Working Group, whose page recently read in part: "Our goal is to give it a
form that is fun, gender-neutral, and full of personality.” (At this
point, “gender-neutral” and “fun” may be oxymorons.)
The school has since de-emphasized the gender-neutral
aspect of the change and focused on the fun aspect and the desire to “bring
renewed energy and enthusiasm to campus and athletic events.”
In reply to a Blaze News query, the school sent the
following missive:
Our
intention has always been to identify a mascot that reflects the public
leadership and spirit of Ben Franklin and John Marshall as our namesakes and to
be inspired by our mascot, the Diplomat. The decision to create a new physical
form for the mascot is an opportunity to represent our community spirit in a
way that will champion F&M on campus, on the athletic field, and beyond. Ben Franklin didn’t reflect the
public leadership and spirit of…Ben Franklin?! In addition to being an
inventor, printer, and discoverer of electricity, Ben Franklin was America’s
first real diplomat, acting as Ambassador to France for seven years.
Franklin and Marshall College, located in Franklin’s home
state of Pennsylvania, was founded in 1787, the same year the Constitution was
ratified-- the founding document that Franklin signed. The school says it has
no plans to change its name, just its mascot(s), which it says should “Take the
form of creatures, animals, and figures, which is very typical of mascots for
universities and sports teams.” Franklin and Marshall were figures, too, but
whatever.
I have the following suggestions for the school’s new
mascot and potential logo/nickname:
*A
lightning bolt. A nod to Franklin’s shocking discovery that would certainly
bring renewed energy to campus athletic events. (See also, Los Angeles
Chargers.)
*RuPaul.
What’s not to like?
*A
peacock. A perfect representation of the school’s virtue signaling and
strutting. Go peacocks, go!
*A
Quaker.
*A
worm. An invertebrate, just like the school’s leaders!
In recent years, universities across the fruited plain
have considered changing their mascots and nicknames, and several have done so.
You might even call it mascot madness. But what’s in a name anyways, right?
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