Princeton University, that traditional Ivy League redoubt, has invited its students to a condom art contest to celebrate Valentine's Day, otherwise known as "National Condom Day." Because, after all, what says “I love you” better than a sculpture made of prophylactics?
But why stop there? Why not have the amorous young scholars make Valentine’s Day cards, too? They could substitute birth control pills and Viagra for the little heart-shaped candies they used to use in grade school. Perhaps that would prompt their manufacturers to put cute little phrases on the pills, as well. Imagine the possibilities! They could even hold a contest with, say, the ten best phrases to be stamped on the pills.
Condoms are for males, so this contest seems somewhat misogynistic for 2022. Why not be more inclusive and let the kids make artwork out of IUDs and dental dams, too?
Will Princeton or other Ivy League schools invite kids to a potato art contest for St. Patrick’s Day? Will they hold a second and third condom art contest for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day?
Come to think of it, February is National Snack Food Month in the United States. Maybe colleges and universities should have their students celebrate by hosting a marijuana art contest. Bongs, spliffs, joints…there’s no end to what one could make.
Now that would be “higher education!”
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