Princeton University, that traditional
Ivy League redoubt, has invited its students to a condom art contest to celebrate Valentine's Day, otherwise known as
"National Condom Day." Because, after all, what says “I love you”
better than a sculpture made of prophylactics?
But
why stop there? Why not have the amorous young scholars make Valentine’s Day
cards, too? They could substitute birth control pills and Viagra for the little
heart-shaped candies they used to use in grade school. Perhaps that would
prompt their manufacturers to put cute little phrases on the pills, as
well. Imagine the possibilities! They could even hold a contest with, say, the
ten best phrases to be stamped on the pills.
Condoms
are for males, so this contest seems somewhat misogynistic for 2022. Why not be
more inclusive and let the kids make artwork out of IUDs and dental dams, too?
Will
Princeton or other Ivy League schools invite kids to a potato art contest for
St. Patrick’s Day? Will they hold a second and third condom art contest for
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day?
Come
to think of it, February is National Snack Food Month in the United States.
Maybe colleges and universities should have their students celebrate by hosting
a marijuana art contest. Bongs, spliffs, joints…there’s no end to what one
could make.
Now
that would be “higher education!”
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