Friday, May 30, 2014

Democrats Propose 'Progressive' Minimum Wage



Washington, D.C.-

            The Democratic Leadership Council (DLC) announced today it has a new proposal for a 'progressive' minimum wage scale.
            "It is our pleasure to be able to bring to the floor of both houses of congress a bill that encapsulates much of what we hold dear as a party...and indeed as a nation. We feel that we have eliminated all merit-based incentives. We are deeply proud to bring you the Progressive Minimum-wage Scale-or PMS! If passed, this bill would institute varying minimum wage rates based entirely on your race, creed, color, gender, sexual orientation and history of past discrimination as a community. Basically, the 'have communities' would have a lower minimum wage rate than the 'have not' communities. Brilliant, if we say so ourselves!! In one simple stroke past grievances could be redressed. This will help accomplish what our progressive income tax has somehow failed to do. I am also happy to say that we are working on another bill that would permanently freeze these wage rates for all members of each community, no matter the job or experience level or risk inherent to the position, to be annually adjusted for inflation. And now the PMS:"

     Community                                                   Hourly Min. Rate

    * Male WASPS......................................... ...$4.75
    *Female WASPS....................................... ...$6.25
    *Males of Color......................................... ...$10.05
    *Females of Color..................................... ....$10.50
    *Atheist, Lesbian Women of Color............... .$17.75
    *Islamic 'Insurgents'...................................... .$20.10
    *Agnostic, Bi-Sexual, Transgender Mulattos...$35.00

No comments:

Post a Comment