I
must admit that I am not sure if I really heard this speech by President Donald
Trump, or if I dreamt it. Or perhaps it’s just how I interpreted the speech he actually
gave. In any case, here’s what I thought he said—or should have:
“My fellow
Americans, we will let all nations know, whether they wish us well or ill, that
things have changed as of today. To our allies: we will no longer provide
your protection for free, and hand you billions of dollars only for you
to mock or denigrate us. To our enemies: we will no longer give you a pass, no
longer allow you to fly balloons or other aircraft over our sovereign nation--
and no longer put up with assorted other threats and indignities. There will be
HELL TO PAY if you continue to attempt to do so.
“From January
20th of 2021 until January 20th of 2025, four years that
will live in infamy, our nation was continuously degraded from within, economically,
militarily, and culturally. And, as President Reagan warned us, ‘Freedom is
never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it on
to our children in the bloodstream. The only way they can inherit the
freedom we have known is if we fight for it, protect it, defend it, and then
hand it to them with the well-fought lessons of how they in their lifetime must
do the same. And if you and I don’t do this, then you and I may well spend
our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it once
was like in America when men were free.’ I promise you I will
fight, fight, FIGHT for your freedoms. And we will ‘build back better’
than ever before! And we will ‘fundamentally transform’ America back to
what she used to be: the greatest nation on the face of the earth. Our border
will be secured, crime will no longer pay, we will be energy independent, our
intelligence agencies will no longer be weaponized against any one political
party, entity, or individual, and the impartial rule of law will be reinstated.
Our public schools will be depoliticized, and the number of genders officially governmentally
recognized will correspond precisely with what our maker intended. (Some of you
may remember, ‘male and female He created them.’)
“Finally,
might I add that it is time to once again treat our own citizens better than
those who enter our country illegally and with bad intent.
“My fellow
Americans, the world will little note, nor long remember, what I say
here, but it will never forget what I am about to do here. Semper Fi!
Let’s roll!”
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