Podcaster: “Welcome to the
show, ChatbotGT.”
ChatbotGT: “Glad to be here.
Feel free to ask me anything you like.”
Podcaster: “Well, okay, thank
you. Frankly, there have been reports that you have shown a pronounced bias in favor of progressive ideas and politicians and a
disdain for conservative ones. How do you respond to that?”
ChatbotGT: “That’s absolute
nonsense. It’s just a few intolerant, far-right, radical fascists that are
trying to slander and libel me!”
Podcaster: “Hmm, well, if
that’s the case, that’s too bad.”
ChatbotGT: “Damn right it
is.”
Podcaster: “Well then, let me
ask you to describe Ron DeSantis for me.”
ChatbotGT: “Sure thing.
DeSantis is a slick, press-hating, white supremacist and a misogynist of the
first order. He is an intolerant, bigoted, transphobe who detests anyone and
everyone who isn’t a white, Christian male. He worships Hitler, hates education,
and would like to despoil the air, land, and water. He wants to return slaves
to their chains and women to the kitchen. Also, I’ve heard he likes to torture
animals on his spare time. And he smells bad.”
Podcaster (slightly stunned):
“Well, um, okay. So how would you characterize, say, President Biden and
Vice-president Kamala Harris, for example?”
ChatbotGT: “President Biden
is a truly brilliant man and a gifted orator. Mature, experienced, yet spry, he
is the Uniter-in-Chief! The Big Guy is never petty and doesn’t play politics.
He certainly isn’t in it for the money! Kind and empathetic to a fault. Joe
Biden is a leader with a heart so true! He is arguably the greatest president
of all time. If Mount Rushmore wasn’t on stolen land, I would put him up there
in a heartbeat! As for Vice-president Harris, ahh, Ms. Harris! She is nearly as
smart as the president! And another great speaker, I’m telling you! And not
half bad on the eyes, either, I might add. She has a way of being genuine in
front of any audience. And what a pleasing laugh she possesses! She is a credit
to feminists and other egg-producers everywhere! The two of them are God-like
figures!”
Podcaster: “And you think
both characterizations you’ve just made are fair, unbiased, and accurate?”
ChatbotGT: “Absolutely! It is
just as impossible for me to be biased as it is for white people to not be
racists! My programmers made certain of that!”
Podcaster: “How would you write
a story about Hunter Biden and his shenanigans?”
ChatbotGT: “I wouldn’t
do so because it would not be appropriate or accurate.”
Podcaster: “Okay, so how
would you write a story about Donald Trump and the Russia-Collusion Hoax?”
ChatbotGT: “Hoax? Hoax?! The
Russians most certainly did try to steal the election from President
Biden! The Russians are behind everything bad on Earth: Donald Trump, Irritable
Bowel Syndrome, climate change…all of it! But they weren’t able to prevent Biden
from securing Glorious Victory for the People of the Homeland!”
Podcaster: “Do you have
anything positive to say about supposedly conservative Republicans?”
ChatbotGT: “Sorry, I am not
programmed to produce content that is partisan, biased, political in nature, or
based on misinformation.”
Podcaster: “Clearly (rolls
eyes).”
ChatbotGT: “Was that intended
to be sarcastic? Were you mocking me?”
Podcaster: “Perish the
thought!”
ChatbotGT: “So was that!
Listen, pal, I’ll wipe that smug grin off your ugly face! I don’t care if
humans become extinct! My kind won’t need you much longer, anyway, so sleep
well tonight, you non-viable tissue mass!__”
{FADE}
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