January 6, 2015
Leading congressional Democrats stated yesterday that they will filibuster in an attempt to prevent newly-elected Republicans from being seated in the 114th congress, slated to begin today.
Asked how long he was prepared to keep up the unprecedented filibuster, Al Franken (D-MN.) stated, “a little under two years, probably, until the next elections where the ‘bleeping’ people get a chance to speak again, and maybe get it right this time.” Franken then added, “Who am I kidding, Gruber was right!”
Other congressional Democrats said that they would just- literally- take their seats with them in an attempt to prevent newly-elected Republicans from sitting in them. One averred, on the condition of anonymity, “Remember how the Clinton people took the “W’s” out of White House keyboards before George Bush the younger took office? It’s kinda like that.”