Wednesday, July 9, 2014

American Idol President

     In the past I’ve been incredulous (and upset) that a person typically didn’t even need to present a driver’s license to vote for the president of the United States of America (try writing a check at a grocery store or making a purchase at the liquor store if you look like your under 40 years old without one!). Voting for the most powerful man or woman in the world affects the whole planet…and indeed the course of world history. I believed this right should require more thought-and be more  scrutinized- than the act of buying a loaf of bread and a copy of People magazine.

     But, apparently, one can’t stand athwart history and yell “stop!” anymore. Passe’. So 1980’s.

     Therefore, in keeping with our modern attention spans, historical and current-event knowledge and politically-correct dogma, I have changed my mind. Screw having to present an I.D.! One shouldn’t even have to appear in person. Nor have to be a citizen. Don’t know about Ellis Island or the Statue of Liberty? We don’t care. Don’t know about the founders? No one does anymore.

     All that matters is if you ‘feel’ this candidate. And he’s tall.

     “He said he cares about us!”.

     “I like his eyes…he’s cute”.

     “He mentioned, like, you know, soccer moms and stuff. He knows what it’s like to deal with all the…umm…problems we have, and he sounds like one of us. And he even said he doesn’t like war! That’s, like, so cool!”.

     So I now propose that the 2016 presidential election should be decided by having people text their vote. Yes indeed, vote early and often! It’s time we pick our president like we do an American Idol winner.

     Maybe one day a president will be as popular. And as well known.


No comments:

Post a Comment