A Bridge Too Far?

MSNBC Television  Studio

 

Host: Bob, I understand you’ve got Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey standing by for an exclusive interview, correct?

On-air reporter: That’s correct, Ted!

Host: All right, Bob, take her away!

On-air reporter: Thank you, Governor, for spending a little time with us tonight, I know you’re busy.

Governor Christie: No problem, Bob.

Reporter: First off, Governor, in light of some, uh, ‘issues’ you’ve had,  have you made a final decision to run for president in 2016?

Governor Christie: I haven’t made a final decision as yet. I still have a little time.

Reporter: So what you’re saying then, is that you’ll cross that bridge when you come to it?

Governor Christie: Something like that, Bob.

Reporter: If you were to run and win, sir, would you try to build a bridge across the aisle to your political opponents?

Governor Christie: I’ve always tried to put the interests of the people ahead of playing political games.

Reporter: Some say the Republicans are conducting a ‘war on women’. In any case, there is a gender gap to contend with. How will you, personally, try to bridge that gap?

Governor Christie: If you look at our policies, historically, and the real-world results of those policies, I’d say that women, as well as men, are better off under Republican leadership. Better economy with more and better jobs, safer streets with less crime, more choices for their children’s education, etc., etc. 'War on women' is patently absurd, Bob.

Reporter: Do you have a bridge in Brooklyn you want to sell me now, Governor? You sound a bit biased there! Do you really believe that? And, please, give us the abridged version. You were a little long-winded in your last answer.

Governor Christie: Yes, I believe it. It’s the truth.

Reporter: Have you thought about a potential running mate? Anybody in mind for vice-president? Maybe someone from the South to balance the ticket and bridge the old north-south divide?

Governor Christie: It’s possible, but I don’t have a clear candidate in mind…if I decide to throw my hat in the ring at all. Bob, I’ve gotta run now. It’s certainly been a pleasure. (Angrily strides away).

Reporter: Well, there he goes now. Probably off to Bridgeman’s for some ‘Rocky Road’ ice cream. Then  home to play a little bridge and relax. And so we’ll bring closure to this interview. Back to you, Ted.

Anchor: In the interest of fairness and our scrupulous adherence to accuracy at this network, it should be pointed out that there are no Bridgeman’s Restaurants/Ice Cream Shops here on the east coast. Bridgeman’s is found in only four states, all in the Midwest. Other than that, though, great work as always, Bob!

Reporter: Thanks, Ted!

 

Host: Well that's it for tonight folks. Tune in tomorrow night when we'll air an exclusive interview with Hillary Clinton. You'll want to see that. She spoke  from the heart about  how she and Bill were able to survive their dark days of debt and despair after they left the white House nearly poverty-stricken. Good night.