“An Evening with Gavin Newsom and Andre Dickins”
Rialto Center for
the Arts
Atlanta, Georgia
(A full house of mostly Black folks on hand.)
Mayor
Andrew Dickens: ”Everybody, please welcome Gavin
Newsom, the honorable governor of the great state of California!” (Much
applause.)
Gov.
Gavin Newsom: “Thank you mayor and thank you, Atlanta.”
Dickens:
“You have a new book coming out, I hear.”
Newsom:
“That’s correct. It’s called “Young Man in a Hurry: A Memoir of Discovery.”
Dickens:
“What is it about?”
Newsom
(looking a bit confused and hurt): “Me.”
Dickens:
"Tell us more.”
Newsom:
“It’s about my burning desire to help others, which I exhibited early on,
despite my crippling lysdexia…I mean dyslexia.”
Dickens:
“How would you categorize the book and its message?”
Newsom:
“Well you see, Mayor Dinkens--“
Dickens:
“It’s Dickens.”
Newsom:
“Sorry, Toby.”
Dickens:
"It’s Andrew.”
Newsom:
"Right. My bad. Anyway, I’m just like you people…an idiot. I can’t even
read, though in my case it’s because I have lysdexia…I mean dyslexia. But I am
just as dumb as you are.”
Dickens
(shaken and unsure of how to proceed): “That…that…that is offensive
Governor Newsom!”
Newsom:
“Chill, bro’. Peace out. I didn’t mean no nothin’ by that, except to say that
I’m no better than you. I am one of you, actually.”
Dickens:
“I don’t think you are.”
Newsom:
“I can’t read. I can’t figure out how to find my birth certificate. I like watermelon
and fried chicken. I am just like you. Hell, I can’t swim, either. But
you should hear me rap. Want to?”
Dickens:
“No.”
Newsom
(chagrinned): “Come on, man! Do a brother a solid. Anyway, you know I can’t
read, but I can write, I guess. Well, actually dictate. I’m a very strong
dictator! So, I ask all the peeps in my posse, all the peoples of color to read
my book, ‘Moung Yan in a Hurry.’ Oh, shit, since ya’ll can’t read, either, I
guess…um, I’m asking all of you to have someone read you my book—"
[FADE]
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