Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter,
though not finalized as of this writing, has caused leftists and other assorted
cranks and poke-noses to whine, cry, and hold their breath while stomping their
feet. It has gladdened and amused most of the rest of us, many of whom have
been victims of the vast left-wing media conspiracy. Especially so as virtually
all other major social media outlets, and the mainstream media as a
whole, are far to the left of center.
It has also caused some of us,
myself included, to ponder what else Musk could purchase…or could have
purchased…at least in a dream world. Ergo, the following is a list of entities
I wish Musk could acquire. Drumroll please.
The Top
Twenty Things I Wish Elon Musk Would/Could Buy Next:
1)
The U.N. (Could he get this international den of
thieves and authoritarians to grant equal time to Israel?)
2)
San Francisco (Since he founded Tesla and SpaceX
and made them successful, perhaps he could get the needles and feces off the
streets and sidewalks of the City by The Bay.)
3)
Ben & Jerry’s (Instead of naming ice cream
after progressive political candidates, perhaps the company could start giving
its frozen dairy confections monikers that pertain to their flavors or
ingredients. Crazy, I know.)
4)
Netflix (Goodbye Barack and Michelle, hello to
shows that don’t slander straight white males and Christians?)
5)
Gillette (Instead of demonizing masculinity and celebrating
transgenderism, perhaps the company could focus on, oh, I don’t know, maybe making
quality shaving products?)
6)
Starbucks (Turns out, there is no need for
political indoctrination with your coffee order!)
7)
Target (Perhaps the retailer could go back to
having separate bathrooms and changing rooms for men and women-- and having
more than two or three non-self-service checkout lanes open.)
8)
Disney (Some have suggested this already, for
obvious reasons. Copycatting here.)
9)
Nike (Phil Knight is also a billionaire, so not
likely. But Musk could move the company from Oregon to, say, Texas, Florida,
South Dakota, or Tennessee. And stop the ceaseless flow of money from Nike to
the University of Oregon. Maybe then the school’s football team wouldn’t debut
a new uniform every week, most of them looking like something RuPaul might wear
after a few cocktails and magic mushrooms. If “she” were a football player.)
10)
The Washington Post (Jeff Bezos is almost as
rich as Musk is, so this won’t happen, either. But it should. Musk’s tweets are
better examples of “journalism” than can be found in this rag.)
11)
MSNBC (He could do the world a solid by pink-slipping
Joy Reid.)
12)
PBS (What’s worse than indoctrination?
Government funded-- meaning taxpayer funded-- indoctrination. What’s
worse than government funded indoctrination? Condescending, boring government funded
indoctrination. Musk could make PBS freer, more open-minded, more diverse in
terms of thought, more fun…and more interesting.)
13)
NPR (See above.)
14)
Venezuela (If Musk can single-handedly start a
company that can get rockets to space and back, surely he could jump-start the
economy of the nation that was once the richest in Latin America.)
15)
Space (Hard to put a price on “space,” but what
a wonderful solar system it would be if Musk could purchase it out from under
the tyrannical and imperialistic noses of China and the Soviet Union Russia.)
16)
The FBI (Instead of its agents investigating innocent,
garden-variety Americans, perhaps they could investigate why crime is rampant
and our borders are open. Elon?)*
17)
The DHS (See above.)*
18)
The DOJ (See above.)*
19)
The CIA (Instead of playing politics and trying
to oust an American president its leaders don’t like, is it too much to ask
that it gather helpful intelligence and attempt to protect the U.S. from
foreign enemies? Elon?)*
20)
The Defense Intelligence Agency (If Musk oversaw
this agency, perhaps we could find out why Biden’s America left no less than $7
billion in military equipment in Afghanistan. Perhaps we could even put the
“defense” and “intelligence” back into the agency.)*
*Yes, I know
these are government agencies, but perhaps a couple of them shouldn’t be.
No comments:
Post a Comment