Monday, May 9, 2022

NASA To Beam Nude Human Figures Into Space To Attract Aliens


NASA is planning on launching nude images into outer space as part of its renewed attempt to make contact with other intelligent life in the universe, according to a study recently released by the space agency. (“Other” intelligent life? I would submit that, as evidenced by the Democratic Party, we have a critical dearth of intelligence here on Earth.)

The transmitted messages will also include a simple representation of a world map and a diagram about how Earth's gravity works. Scientists say the message will be written in binary code, which they believe could be most easily understood by extraterrestrials, according to the study’s notes. (Oh, oh.)

The study reads: "Though the concept of mathematics in human terms is potentially unrecognizable to ETI, binary is likely universal across all intelligence. Binary is the simplest form of mathematics as it involves only two opposing states: zero and one, yes or no, black or white, mass or empty space." (So they are sending out nude images of males and females and nary an image of a non-binary person. Naughty scientists! Binary is bad!)

In actuality, what is being sent out in hopes of attracting aliens are essentially just basic anatomical drawings of a man and a woman. The figures will be shown waving to make them appear more welcoming—and will be accompanied by a depiction of DNA.

It’s a damn good thing NASA didn’t decide to send out actual nude photos of, say, Nancy Pelosi, Jerry Nadler, Joy Behar, or Brian Stelter. Because, if there were intelligent life out there somewhere, that would eternally guarantee it would never contact us.


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